check it out our google latitudes are spooning
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
