I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
