Define "chronic" masturbator.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
