You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
