I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
