I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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