Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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