omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize