I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
