I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
