well you can't waste a boner
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
