there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
