How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
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The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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