The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
why is half of my head shaved?
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