The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
