another moral hangover. fuck.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
