he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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