Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
