if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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