That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
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I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
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Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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