can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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