I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I am one with the molecules
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