exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize