My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Randomize
