I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
