dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
