I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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