You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
