You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Terrible idea I love it
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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