I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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