awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize