Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
