I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
