He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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