I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
