Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
