I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
