So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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