Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
