Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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