It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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