he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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