Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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