we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
