No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
