wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
