We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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