That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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