you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
