Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
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after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
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I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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