just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize