were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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