i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
