How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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