whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
