I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
