Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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