So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
