just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
