what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
