I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
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I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
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His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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