He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
