is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think a kid would responsible me up
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
