I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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